Well, the strange things that happen when you are surrounded by strangers, in a town that, well, is close to a crazy city - full of complete strangers. (I don't know what makes an incomplete stranger...) It is amazing the impression that others give off. You can listen to a conversation they are having over the phone and make judgments...and then when they open up their mouth and talk to you, you have the same judgments it's just that you don't feel like such an eavesdropper. How powerful people can be is truly a remarkable thing. They can go to all these fancy-brand-name schools, be well traveled, and talented, and make lots of money, have an amazing resume and what not. Yet, they can be so fucked up (excuse me for that, but it was the only word that works here) with something as simple as their weight-their health (well I suppose that is not really simple) They can have such a crazy view of who they are and what they should be. Who wants to be some crazy work-out-aholic and miss out on life, on living, on simply being. (simple never applies to anything I say, does it?) It's like people have these brains filled with information but never the information on how to live a beautiful life. I mean, it is not like I know how to live exactly - in fact I am far from being able to know how to live...but there has always been something so wrong to me in this need to get ahead. The obsession for me. And I am certainly not above it - but I just always felt like there was more, well not more but different. And maybe I don't believe in happiness - but some sort of contentment is always at the back of my mind, one that I cannot define exactly....And then there is this part of me that feels like I should have gotten so much more out of this conversation/her talking on and on with this woman...but the only thing that sticks out in my mind is this crazy notion people have of their appearance of what they think they should be doing...and not doing - well, their life. Crazy how people can get trapped into a life they thought they had always wanted. When is it too late? When do we realize what is right?
Well, maybe I did get something more out of that...happening at Starbucks...to not let life get me down, to not be intimidated by anything, to not look back....to just do what I have always wanted to do because I have the oppurtunity - because I can and I want to...I do not want to feel stuck in my life anymore and maybe this chance happening is just what I needed to push through...to make me truly be - and feel like - this motivated person I am told I am...
perseverance, baby... ha! :) I think I like being crazy more than I should...
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