Looming things

Today was the supposed "deadline" I gave to myself to finish my essay.

So far, not so bad. I have actually did something more than I have in... I don't know, the past two months? This is good, right?

Wrong. I keep coming up with all of these ideas that I simply think are so wonderful...and then as soon as they get on the paper (the computer screen) = some of the worst words I have ever seen thrown together in my life.

My problem for today. No, that's a lie, this is always one of my problems. I can never just concentrate on one thing and keep it all nice and pretty. I have to try and go on these tangents and make everything all interesting and "non cliche" ... Maybe it has worked one time or another. I don't know.

I just wonder if I will ever be able to stick to the question at hand and answer it all simple and easy like it was meant to be answered. And then possibly get things done on time. (well, have a little breathing time?) But, no if I ever did that I would not be Me. I would be giving the same 'ole answer and be a drone... and what good would I do the world then? (or atleast, the person who has to read the thing)

See, but then there are those times when I think that I try so hard to be all...and it fails miserably. And, in fact it is really all just like the rest...then again there are times when I think no one really stands out in the world. No matter what. Ah, sadness and misery and loathing.

Ah, the trouble with trying to be "unique" and stand out. And the pressure to fit in when you think you are simply a complete nut. Then again...maybe I have no idea what I am talking about in regards to myself. Whatever.

As always. Whatever to verbal incontinence.

I am off...to stare at the screen and perhaps write something in some kind of order that makes some kind of sense. I can see the end of this, I just can't make it.