utter nonsense, I say.

There really is something interesting about the fact of this whole bigger picture vs. everyday life concept…I just cannot articulate it at the moment. This entry has been so truly dirty, truly sloppy...

....My mind really does keep wandering, how terrible. So what I really want to get at is whether or not what is going on in the moment truly matters…those itsy bitsy things that we do everyday, that we see everyday, that we live everyday. Or, is the only thing that truly matters that ‘bigger picture’ thing I have heard about? Something to question. Should we care about the people that interact with us now? Or just know that someday it will all be better? Should we bother ourselves with the trivial of everyday? Or just know that one day none of that will matter?

After all, I mean what is really wrong with only looking out for yourself?And just living for that someday. That is the best that we can truly do for ourselves…in some sense, at least.

But, then again...they contradict, they go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other. (anyone hearing a 'Married...with Children' theme song in the background?) You cannot truly accept that you only have to worry about all the little things that we say and do in the everyday moment without knowing that all that matters is the 'bigger picture' in life. Because after all that is what it all adds up to. Those little things are so very important because we don't remember what we actually think is important, but the little words we think will be forgotten.

Life really can't really only be about that humdrum routine we shuffle through everyday (what we think is important). But, it has to be about the little interactions that add up...maybe I am wrong...

And also for the fact that there could be bad everyday things that we need not to worry and there could be those beautiful everyday things that we need to remember. Maybe you just have to think about it according to what is happening to you, you have to twist it according to your mood at the moment. See, then really what is the point about thinking about any of it? If we are just supposed to be greedy and make sure everything always works in our favor, what is the point?

Well I believe that both sides have strong, lovely cases. Yes, you should only care about the little things in life – those everyday things…that is what we remember the most. Sometimes those little things are so dreadful we don't want to think about them, so we therefore need to trouble our minds with something bigger....I suppose it just all depends on what you cannot control in the situation i.e. who you are talking to, what the circumstances are. But who wants to put their fate somewhere they cannot see it? Well,maybe that is just growing up.

Or I suppose you could just say, what does it matter if, in the end, it will all be forgotten?

I know that, at this moment, I give up.